Permission to Love with Jerry Henderson
"Your relationship with yourself determines every other relationship in your life."
When we create a healthy relationship with ourselves, everything in our lives begins to transform.
Join us each week as we discuss topics such as overcoming shame, letting go of limiting beliefs, dealing with imposter syndrome, finding healthy motivators for achievement, transforming trauma, and learning how to practice self-love and self-acceptance.
The Permission to Love Podcast is dedicated to helping people have healthier relationships with themselves and find the permission to fully love and accept themselves.
About Jerry,
“When I realized I was the source of my own suffering, I realized I could also be the source of my own healing.”
Jerry is a Master Certified Transformational Mindset Coach, author, speaker, and host of The Permission to Love Podcast.
He works with high-achievers to help them create a happier, healthier, and more sustainable life grounded in self-acceptance and self-compassion.
Jerry has helped thousands of people have a healthier relationship with themselves and uncover the limiting beliefs keeping them from the life they so deeply desire and deserve.
He uses a combination of transformational mindset coaching, positive psychology, trauma-informed approaches, IFS, and NLP to remove limiting beliefs and connect with their authentic selves.
Jerry has an undergraduate degree in Political Science, an MBA in global business from the Thunderbird School of Global Management, and is currently completing his Master's degree in Psychology at Harvard University.
Before becoming a Transformational Coach, Jerry spent most of his career in Philanthropy, raising over $1 billion USD for not-for-profits. He is a survivor of childhood trauma and now helps individuals learn how to create the lives they want from a place of healthy motivators and remaining mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, and spiritually healthy.
New episodes of The Permission to Love Podcast come out every Monday.
To learn more about Jerry, find additional resources, or submit a topic or question, check out: www.jerryhenderson.org
You can also connect with Jerry on Instagram: @jerryahenderson
Permission to Love with Jerry Henderson
Rewire Your Mind | Break Free from Old Patterns and Create a New Reality
In this transformative episode of the Permission to Love podcast, we explore how to rewire your mind for a new reality.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in old patterns, trapped by limiting beliefs, or unable to make real change despite your self-awareness, this episode is for you.
Through guided exercises, powerful insights, and neuroscience-backed strategies, you’ll discover:
- Why your identity is a repeated pattern of thoughts and emotions—and how to break free.
- The impact of neuroplasticity on our transformation.
- How to shift your beliefs and subconscious programming to create the life you truly want.
- The role of your Reticular Activating System (RAS) in shaping your reality.
- A guided visualization exercise to step into your highest self.
This episode isn’t just about learning—it’s about experiencing transformation.
By the end, you’ll feel a shift in your mindset, knowing that you have the power to choose who you become.
FREE Coaching Call: If you're ready for deeper transformation, book a call at jerryhenderson.org.
Download Your Free Resources: Take the Resilience Quiz and access tools to help you rewire your mindset at jerryhenderson.org.
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction: Setting the intention for transformation
02:10 - Who Are You? A Powerful Reflection on Identity
04:12 - The Power of Thought: Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Insights
06:18 - Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality and Daily Life
10:11 - Are Your Beliefs Actually True? Challenging Your Identity
17:38 - The Neuroscience of Change: Neuroplasticity & Meditation
20:00 - How to Get Unstuck and Rewire Your Mind for a New Reality
26:33 - Reprogramming Exercise: Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs
32:21 - Understanding the Reticular Activating System (RAS)
38:54 - Guided Visualization: Meeting Your Highest Self
44:26 - 7-Day Challenge: Acting as Your Future Self
I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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Website:
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Hello everybody and welcome to this episode of the Permission to Love podcast, a podcast where we're having conversations about self-transformation, our mindset and healing our relationship with ourselves. Now, in today's episode, I'm going to do something a little bit different. I'd like for you to be open to considering this podcast as an experience, because I believe if you truly engage with this episode, if you allow yourself to participate in the exercises, something will shift inside of you, just like things shifted in me when I first told myself that I was worthy of my own love. Just like things have shifted in my clients as they have breakthroughs in understanding who they truly are, that they're not trapped in their story, they're not trapped in their beliefs, but they can transform themselves. They can experience self-expansion as they're creating the life that they actually want to live. So I want you to set your intention in this episode for something to shift inside of you by the time that you're done engaging in this episode. So what are we going to be talking about today? We're going to be talking about how to rewire your mind for a new reality. So, if you've ever felt stuck in old patterns, trapped by limiting beliefs, or no matter how hard you try, you keep repeating the same struggles, just in different forms. Maybe you feel like you're very self-aware. You know the changes that you need to make, but you just can't seem to get the breakthroughs, and you're always wondering why you're stuck and you can't seem to figure out how to embed those new beliefs into your life and to create the new habits, routines and the things that you want to have in your life, so that you can become the version of yourself that you know you have the potential to be. So my hopes are that by the end of this episode, you're going to know that change is possible, if you don't already know. That it's not going to be just something that's in your brain as a cerebral fact, but that you're actually going to feel it in your system, and I believe that you can begin to feel it happen as you're engaging with this episode.
Speaker 1:So let's get started, and I want to start by asking you a question who are you? Take a moment, reflect on that. You're not your name, you're not your job, you're not your history, you're not your achievements, you're not your trauma, you're not your relationships, you're not the roles that you play. Who are you? Who are you beneath all of that? I mean, who are you really, your essence?
Speaker 1:And here's the challenge for many of us we don't realize that our identity, all of those things that we claim are us our name, our title, et cetera are just repeated patterns of thoughts and emotions, things that we've learned, the character that we've put on. And I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying that it's important for us to realize that who we identify as is not the authentic us and the identity that we connect with, whatever it is. You might have an identity that you're broken, that you're not enough. You might have an identity that you're never going to have prosperity, that you're never going to find a healthy relationship. You might have the identity that you're stuck and that you can't seem to figure out how to get unstuck. And you might have an identity that you're the one who's always going to be on this healing journey and that there's something wrong with you that you'll never figure out how to fix yourself. And even the fact that you feel like you need to fix yourself is a part of an identity. But below all of that is the authentic you, which is full of love, power, potential, and our job is to tap into that and connect with who we truly are and begin to shed everything that is not us. So I want to ask you again, in light of all of that who are you?
Speaker 1:Dr Joe Dispenza talks about it like this he says that 90% of your thoughts today are the same as yesterday. And if you keep thinking the same way, you're going to keep feeling the same way. And if you keep feeling the same way, you're going to keep feeling the same way. And if you keep feeling the same way, you're going to keep living the same life. Most of us don't realize that our identity is just a repeated pattern of thoughts and emotions. Our thoughts lead to our feelings. Our feelings then lead to decisions, and those decisions are determining the way that we're living our life. Because here's the thing your mind is like a GPS. If you keep inputting the same destination, your old beliefs, your old stories, you're going to keep arriving at the same results. And here's what's going to keep happening If you don't believe you're worthy of love, you will push love away.
Speaker 1:If you don't believe you're capable of wealth and abundance and when I say wealth and abundance I'm talking about all of it Abundance of love, wealth of relationships thriving emotionally, mentally, physically and, yes, financial abundance. If you don't believe that you're worthy of those things, capable of those things, you will continue to sabotage yourself and sabotage any opportunities that come your way for those things to manifest in your life. Now listen, we're not sabotaging those things because we want to or because we don't want those things in our life, but because our brains get programmed to make our beliefs a reality. Let me say that again Our brains are programmed to make our beliefs a reality in our life, and so one of the hard truths and this is one of the hard truths I work with people in coaching is, if you look at your life right now, much of what is in your life is your brain's attempt to align you with your beliefs.
Speaker 1:Now, here's what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that the trauma you experienced was your fault. I'm not saying that you manifested the actions of other people. No, I'm not saying any of that. So never take anything that I say about our brain wanting to create our beliefs as indicating that the trauma that you experienced or the decisions of other people are your fault. You don't have any responsibility for that. But what we do have to take responsibility for are the relationships that we're choosing and the beliefs that we now carry about ourselves. And, yes, even though we develop them as coping mechanisms, we now get to choose new beliefs, more empowering beliefs, and, yes, that is our responsibility and I say this with as much love and encouragement as possible that your life is a good thermometer to look at, to show you what your beliefs are.
Speaker 1:Now let me also be very clear here the thing that I'm talking about as the most important part of this process is your own internal focus in on those things. We then begin to choose the things that we believe that we're worthy of, that we want, and you choosing what you believe you're worthy of and what you want in your life is going to look very different for you than it is for somebody else, okay, so you building the life that you truly want isn't about you trying to copy somebody else. It's about you building a life that you want that's truly aligned with your values, not just trying to imitate, not just trying to copy, not trying to live somebody else's life, but who are you, what do you want, and does your life right now reflect the life that you want? And does your life right now reflect the life that you want? Do you have the abundance of peace, love, joy, relationships, connection. All of the things that you want Are those things manifesting and showing up in your life. It is connected to our beliefs. Good news is that we can change our beliefs and so, just as an example, if you believe that there's something wrong with you, that you're unworthy of love, as I said, you're going to continue to push away loving relationships, and so that belief is causing you to manifest in your life a lack of connection with other people, a lack of meaningful relationships. And let me be clear again I'm going to take a lot of time in this episode and be clear about things that you are not responsible for, the original wound that caused you to feel like there's something wrong with you and that you don't deserve love. But what you have now is the power to change that belief. And as you change that belief and you do the work and you do the rewiring, you will then begin to choose connection, choose relationships where intimacy can thrive, where you can show up as the best version of yourself can thrive, where you can show up as the best version of yourself, where you can be seen and felt, seen and see others in relationship. That is possible for you, no matter what your story is right now. Self-transformation, your ability to transform yourself and transform your life, is something you have the ability to do. That power is inside of you Now, in light of that, let me ask you another question.
Speaker 1:What if everything you think you know about yourself isn't the truth? We're just going to play with this question for a second. What if everything you think about yourself isn't the truth? What if it's just habits? What if we're all just a collection? Our personality, the way that we respond to people, the triggers that we have, the beliefs that we have are just habits. I want you to take a moment, take a deep breath and think about that and let that sink in. And here's the truth about that we are habits, we are programming, we are wiring, and that programming and wiring is going to either create a life that we want and is going to serve us, or it's going to create a life that we don't want and it's not going to serve us.
Speaker 1:And I want to say this again one more time you are not your past, you are not your trauma, you are not your limiting beliefs, and just because those things exist in your life don't mean that they're true. They're habits and they're programming. And here's the beautiful news about this that if they're habits and programming, they can be changed. Now, once again, what I'm not saying is that those things didn't happen in your life. Yes, you experienced trauma. Yes, you experienced pain. Yes, you were born in that house to that family. Yes, you experienced those. Yes, you experienced pain. Yes, you were born in that house to that family. Yes, you experienced those painful things in your life. Yes, you have the name that you have. All of that is true.
Speaker 1:But what I am saying is that those things are not the essence of who you are. And if that is true, you can choose who you want to become. You have agency to choose who you become. That is in your hands. From this day forward, I want you to hold on to that. I want you to connect with that that you are not at the mercy of your past. You are not at the mercy of your present. You get to choose who you want to become, no matter what your circumstances are. That power to transform yourself lives within you. It lives within every single one of us, and it's one of the greatest things that we have as humans the ability to choose who we become.
Speaker 1:And if you're feeling some resistance around that, I just want to ask you to stick with me, and I also want to ask you to reflect on whether or not that might be some of the programming, some of the wiring right, because if we carry a belief that we can't change, that belief is going to keep us stuck in the version of us that we don't feel like is serving us. And if we have that belief, that belief got developed over time, it became a habit. We experienced things that maybe reinforced the message to us that we couldn't change, and the crazy thing about it is it becomes a habit. We experience things that maybe reinforce the message to us that we couldn't change, and the crazy thing about it is it becomes a loop. We believe that we can't change, so we create scenarios that prevent us from change, and then we try to change, but yet we sabotage that change. And then that comes back to trying to reinforce the message that we can't change.
Speaker 1:And one of the key things is to make the decision and it is a decision to begin to believe that you have the power to change and then be committed to program that belief into your system, into your words, into your actions, into your way of being. And I want to say to you, even if you don't believe that you can change, I believe that you can. And how can I have that belief? You might be thinking. Well, you don't know me. I know humans, I know myself, I know the people that I coach. I know what happened in my life as I transformed my life, as I went through a process of self-transformation letting go of the beliefs that there was something wrong with me that was unworthy of love, healing my relationship with myself so I didn't have to drink to try to escape myself learning how to have connection in life-giving relationships, helping other people experience that self-transformation, watching them as they create the life that they want to live, as they let go of those limiting beliefs and understand that in their life they have the power to transform their relationship with themselves, transform their relationship with others and, by doing so, transform their entire life. Even if you don't believe that you can, I believe that you can and I know that you can.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you feel like you've been doing the work reading the books, gaining self-awareness, understanding your patterns but you're still stuck, I just want to take a moment and talk to you, because here's the truth Awareness isn't enough. You can know why you self-sabotage, you can understand your limiting beliefs, but knowing isn't the same as breaking free. Self-transformation isn't about learning more. It's about unlearning the things that have kept you small. Change is about shedding all the things that are not you so you can live from the authentic person that you truly are.
Speaker 1:And change is also about stepping out of the old story that you're not ready, you're not enough, you're not capable. It's about fully reclaiming your power. And here's an important thing you don't have to do it alone. I help people just like you wake up and break free from the old beliefs and the old patterns. We're not talking about just setting goals, but becoming who you were truly meant to be Shedding the shame, getting rid of the low self-confidence, learning how to choose healthy relationships. Finally healing your relationship with yourself so that you can thrive.
Speaker 1:So if this resonates with you and you're feeling that pull to change, if you know you're ready for something deeper, I want to offer you a free coaching call, not to sell you, but to get real about where you are, where you want to be and what's truly standing in the way. So can I encourage you, stop waiting, stop thinking about it and take some action, because your brain wants to see that you're serious about making these changes, and one of the ways that our brain starts to believe that we're serious is that we take action. So I want to invite you to go to my website at jerryhendersonorg or simply see the show notes in this episode to book your free call today and let's connect and see if working together is the right fit Because listen, the next chapter of your life doesn't start when you feel ready. It starts when you decide. So, if you're ready to go on a process of self-transformation and start creating the life that you truly want to live, set up that free call and I'm really looking forward to learning more about you.
Speaker 1:So now let's talk about the neuroscience behind this. Your brain is not fixed. You know I love talking about this. It is constantly rewiring itself, even when you don't think it is. It is rewiring itself, and this is called what Neuroplasticity.
Speaker 1:And there's some interesting research that Harvard has done that shows that meditation can literally increase gray matter in the brain. Why? How? Because it's strengthening the areas responsible for focus, emotional regulation and resilience. So that study alone shows us that when we engage in behaviors, when we choose to do things like meditation, it's changing brain structure. And not only is it changing brain structure, it's helping us connect and tap into the things that are going to help us change our lives, like the focus, like the emotional regulation, like the resilience. And that's just one research example among hundreds that show when you change what you repeatedly think, feel and do, you are changing your brain's structure.
Speaker 1:So what does that mean for us in the context of what I'm talking about today? It means that, even if you have all of those beliefs that you feel like are so true about you that you feel like are so who you are, that you don't have to carry that forward. You can change it. You can change the way that your brain sees, perceives and believes. And when you change the beliefs, you change your life. And so what this also means is that that belief that you're stuck, it's not true. You're just running on old programming. Yes, you feel stuck, yes, you can't see how to get out of where you're at right now, but it doesn't mean you're permanently stuck. It just means that you're running on old programming and as you get new programming and as you learn how to install that new programming in your brain, you will naturally get unstuck.
Speaker 1:For many people they focus in on their stuckness instead of focusing in on what's going to get them unstuck. And when you start to learn the beliefs that are creating the behaviors, or that lack of behaviors, that are keeping you stuck, and then you begin to install new beliefs and then begin to take new behaviors, you're naturally going to get unstuck. So one helpful tip and what I do a lot with my clients is to shift the focus from the problem to the belief and to the empowerment that you have to change the belief, to change how you see it so that you can move away from the disempowering belief and feeling that you're stuck to an empowering curiosity that says what belief has me stuck? That says what belief has me stuck? What behaviors or non-behaviors have me feeling stuck? What are the new beliefs that could get me unstuck? What did the person do? Who's no longer stuck? How did they get themselves unstuck? And when you ask that question, it unlocks your curiosity and gets you out of the spiral and then gets movement happening.
Speaker 1:And when we have movement, all kinds of amazing things start to happen in our life. The other great news about our brain's ability to change and our ability to change our beliefs is that you don't have to wait years to change. Transformation can literally happen in moments or in a moment. And this is one of the most powerful things in coaching is when I'm working with somebody in a session, I always tell them I'm a partner in thinking with you and as we're working together in a session, they have that aha moment and something literally shifts. It's like their entire system shifted, made a connection, their brain fired and wired a belief that then they felt in their body. They might have felt it in their gut or they might have felt it in their chest, but a breakthrough just happened. A transformation actually happened in that moment, as their entire system just got an update of the programming that actually caused the shift to happen in that moment. It is truly a beautiful thing to watch and an honor to be a part of when somebody has that type of breakthrough. And here's what's so fascinating about this is that when we have those shifts, what happens inside of us begins to get expressed outside of us.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say it again, and I say this with love and compassion your reality is a mirror of your internal world. If you believe abundance is possible world, if you believe abundance is possible, your brain will start finding evidence to support that belief. If you believe that you're unlovable, that there's something wrong with you, your brain is going to keep finding evidence to reinforce that. If you believe that you're worthy of love, your brain is going to start seeing things about yourself that show you that you are worthy of good things and love. And we're going to talk about the science behind this in just a second. But here's what I want to drive home right now. This is not just wishful thinking. This is biology. The research shows that our beliefs, what we think about, what we feel, what we do all of that is tied together and it's actually altering the brain in the direction that it thinks is serving us. And, yes, that even includes all the things that you wish weren't in your life.
Speaker 1:All right, now let's go even a little bit deeper on this. Let's start talking about the subconscious mind and how our subconscious mind is driving so much of our life. In fact, 95% of your thoughts and actions come from your subconscious mind, the part of you that's running on autopilot. Think about it. You don't have to remind yourself to breathe, to blink or to even drive your car. After years of practice, it's just autopilot for you and your beliefs that work in the same way and that's a good thing, but it's also a very frustrating thing. So, for example, if you were told as a child frustrating thing. So, for example, if you were told as a child money's hard to make, or you have to do things that you don't want to do in order to make money, or people like us don't get ahead, or love always ends in pain, or whatever the story and narrative is For me.
Speaker 1:I grew up on the welfare system in US poverty, and so money was always associated with stress. I remember getting up at two in the morning and watching my dad sit on the couch chain smoking, hyper stressed out about how to get money, how to get groceries, how to pay the bills, and I remember my mother shoplifting in order for us to have groceries. And so there was so much tension, so much challenge around money that that got transferred to me and I had to do a lot of work to begin to accept abundance and not see money as something that's stressful, and as a kid I had no idea that that stuff was getting programmed in me that I was adopting a belief. And then what happened is it got stored in my subconscious mind. And so let me ask you what are the beliefs that you have right now when you think about money, when you think about relationships, when you think about yourself?
Speaker 1:And if you need help understanding what those are, just start to ask yourself how do you talk about yourself? How do you talk about money? How do you talk about relationships? How do you feel emotionally when it comes to the thought of relationships? How do you feel emotionally when you think about you expanding, becoming the highest version of yourself? How does that feel energetically in your system? That is a big clue about the beliefs that you hold and what's stored in your subconscious. And the challenge is, our subconscious takes those messages, takes those beliefs as truths, and then we live them out without even realizing it, and then we scratch our heads as to why our life is the way that it is.
Speaker 1:But once again, here's the great news. I'm going to keep reminding you of this you can reprogram yourself and, yes, you can reprogram your subconscious mind. And you know what? While we're here during this episode, let's do a reprogramming exercise right now. So, if you're not driving and you're in a place where you can do this, I'm going to walk you through a quick exercise. If you're not in a place where you can do this, go back to this episode and allow yourself to experience this exercise Right now. I invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath in, let it out. Take another deep breath in, let it out. Now take a moment.
Speaker 1:Think of a limiting belief you've carried for years. For example, I'm not worthy of love, I'll never find a loving relationship. I'm not worthy of success. What is it Now, ask yourself Society, a family member, an intimate partner? Now imagine taking that belief and holding it in your hands like an old, outdated book, and now set it down. See yourself taking that old book, that outdated book with those outdated beliefs, and set it down. Now replace it with a new belief that you want to carry. For example, I'm worthy of success. I'm worthy of love. I allow abundance in all its forms. I am able to do everything I put my mind to. I am enough. And say it out loud, if you can Say it with me I am worthy of success. I am worthy of love. I allow abundance in all of its forms Connect with it emotionally. I am worthy of love, I am worthy of success. I allow abundance in all of its forms. Guess what? You just rewired your brain a little bit in that moment, seriously, in that moment, you just practiced reprogramming your brain. You identified a limiting belief. You chose to set that belief aside. You identified a life-giving belief and you chose to start installing that in your system through thinking it, saying it and feeling it. That, my friend, is a big part of how we rewire our brains.
Speaker 1:And here's the other thing to keep in mind it is the small shifts that lead to big transformations. And one of the things I remind people about all the time is that people often overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in five years. Because, listen, this is a life that you're building and your life doesn't have to be built in the next 30 days. And that's what we often do is like I got to change everything in the next 30 days and if I don't, there's something wrong with me. Well, guess what? You're setting yourself up for failure in doing that, because your belief system is that you can't change, and so you're going to make change so hard that you're going to fail at it, and then you failing at it is going to reinforce the belief that you can't change.
Speaker 1:See how beliefs can set us up for failure. See how beliefs can keep us stuck in a pattern. What if the belief was shifted? What if you said I believe that I'm worthy of a life that is full of love and abundance, and so I'm building a life, and a life gets built with time and patience. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and so I'm okay with installing one new belief system or one new habit every six months, every three months, every year, whatever it is, because at the end of six months and you've now installed a new belief system and then you're able to install a new one. Listen, in a year from now, you've at least let go of two beliefs that you don't want anymore and installed two beliefs that you truly want. Instead of repeating a pattern of setting yourself up for failure, tapping out, wondering what's wrong with you, trying it again, and then you're just staying stuck in a repeated pattern of trying, failing, trying, failing, and no wonder you feel like you can't change. Focus in on small shifts that truly get embedded into your system, and those are the things that are going to bring the big transformations, because you're stacking it together and then, all of a sudden, you're no longer the person that you were before. You're no longer the person that doesn't believe that you're worthy of love and abundance. You resonate and know that you're worthy of those things because transformational change is happening from the inside out.
Speaker 1:Okay, now let's talk about your brain's RSA system, or its reticular activating system. So what is that system? It is the system that is filtering your reality. Your brain is constantly being bombarded with information millions, if not billions, of bits of information per second but it is only consciously processing a small fraction of it. Why? Because of the reticular activating system. It's a network in your brain that's acting as a filter and it's constantly working. Because here's the truth there's no way that you could take in all of the information that you see and actually do something with it.
Speaker 1:And, as an exercise, take a moment, look around. Wherever you're at, there is so much going on in your environment right now Sounds, movement, items, this podcast, my voice, all of this stuff. And if your brain had to focus in on everything that's currently happening in your situation right now, it would be overwhelmed. You'd get shut down. And if you were asked to sit down and describe every detail of everything that's happening with you right now, it would take you forever. You'd have to describe the colors, the items, the textures, the sense, the sound. I mean all of it. How long would it take you to write all of that out and truly describe it? Take take you a really long time.
Speaker 1:So what your brain is doing is it's filtering out everything that it thinks is unnecessary in that moment, so that you can actually focus in on what matters. So this RAS system is determining what you notice and what you ignore. It's why, as I've shared before, when you decide to buy a new car, you suddenly start seeing that exact car everywhere. That car was always there, but your brain never noticed it before. And guess what? Now your brain has tuned into it because it's important to you now, because you own that car.
Speaker 1:And this whole RAS system is one of the ways how your beliefs are shaping your reality. So, for example, if you believe I'm always struggling, your RAS will filter reality to show you evidence of struggle, missed opportunities, financial hardship, roadblocks. But if you shift your belief to abundance is all around me, your RAS will start filtering reality to reveal new opportunities, helpful people and unexpected blessings. Your brain, through this RAS system, is wired to seek out, to notice and to bring into your awareness what your beliefs are and is determining what you focus on. So take a moment and ask yourself what is my RAS filtering in and, more importantly, what do I want it to focus on instead? Do I want to focus on blessings? Do I want to focus in on the beauty of who I am? Do I want to focus in on opportunities or do I want to continue to focus in on things that are limiting me, keeping me from transformation, keeping me from expansion?
Speaker 1:And what we do to change that filter is we start installing new beliefs. And the way that we install those new beliefs, for example, is what we just did earlier about letting go of limiting beliefs, deciding what beliefs that we want and then connecting with them and starting to rewire our brains. And as we do things like that and other things, it will install new beliefs. Then our RAS filter will say, huh, those things are important to us and it'll start to notice those things in our life. And when we notice those things in our life, we start to create more and more and more of them, and this is one of the ways that the law of attraction works. You're not simply just attracting things in your life. You're actually becoming aware of the abundance that is in your life and, as you're aware of that, you start seeing it, attracting it because you're noticing it. And the more that you're noticing it, the more that you're believing that you're worthy of it, and that belief that you're worthy of it starts to attract more and more of it in your life.
Speaker 1:And all of this is coming back to those core beliefs that we carry, and this is one of the reasons that the first thing I always start with in coaching is helping people understand their relationship with themselves. What do I mean by that? How do you talk to yourself, how do you see yourself, what do you believe about yourself? Because the way that we see ourselves and the relationship that we have with ourselves is determining all of this other stuff that's unfolding in our lives. Okay, now what I want to do is I want to walk you through another exercise. I want you to truly connect with this exercise as a part of the rewiring process, as a part of installing those new beliefs in your system, and I want you to be open to experiencing whatever shifts can happen inside of you. Open yourself up to self transformation, your ability to change yourself, your ability to show up for yourself. You can transform your life. You're actually the only one who can transform your life. Nobody else out there can do it for you. And I tell people that all the time. I might be your coach, but I'm not the one who's actually going to have to make the changes. I can be a partner in your thinking, I can offer you input, I can help guide, I can help with courage, I can help hold accountable, I can give you resources, but at the end of the day, my biggest job is to empower my clients to make the change that they want to make, so that they coach themselves and so that they create the life that they want. So I want you to take a moment and connect with that ability that you have to transform your own life as we start this exercise. So I'm going to invite you again.
Speaker 1:If you're in a place where you can close your eyes, take in a deep breath, let it out. Take in another deep breath, let it out. Relax your body. Notice any place that you're carrying, any tension. Just allow yourself to relax.
Speaker 1:Now, imagine you're standing in front of a doorway. Behind that door is your highest self, the highest version of you. Now I want to invite you to open the door, you to open the door Now. I want to invite you to see yourself stepping through the door. What do you see? How does this version of you walk, speak, live, feel that energy filling your body, connect with that version of yourself Once again. How do they talk? What do they say about themselves? What do they believe, carry themselves? What is their posture like when they move? How do they walk? How do they live their life? What emotions do they carry with them? What do their relationships look like? See that version of yourself and then step into that version. Literally, see yourself walking over to that version of yourself and step inside of it. Inside of it. Let the energy of your highest self fill your mind, your heart and your body. Right now, in this moment. Now, as that version of you, back with you into this present moment. Now, from this moment forward, you truly are not the same person who pressed play on this episode.
Speaker 1:The first exercise, if you engaged in it, actually made new connections in your brain, even if it was at the micro level. It made a new connection in your brain and as you make more and more of those connections, they'll build up together and then, all of a sudden, you'll have a superhighway in your brain of a connection that is associated with a new belief that you want to carry about yourself and your life. And then the other exercise allowed you to see the version of yourself that is living as your highest self. It's what we talked about in the beginning of this podcast episode. It is the true, authentic you, the you that is love, that is joy and that is centered in a sense of confidence, connection, wholeness. That is the identity. That is who you truly are. And as you connect with that true identity, your highest self, you can begin to let go of all the things that are not you. And, the truth be told, it's actually about allowing yourself to be who you already are, that version of yourself that you just saw. You just connected with Allowing yourself, giving yourself the permission to be who you truly are.
Speaker 1:I often tell people, like I mentioned earlier, that change is about unlayering. It's not so much about becoming, it's about allowing. We are uncovering everything that is not us. We are shedding everything that is not us, so that we can allow ourselves to be who we already truly are. And so you're not trying to bolt on all these things that you think you should be doing or who you should be. You're getting rid of everything that isn't the authentic you. You're allowing the expression of all that you already are. You see, here's the thing that's so important about this. We often think that we're broken or we need to be fixed. No, we are already all the things that we want to be. We just have to get everything out of the way. That's not that, and the work that we've talked about on this podcast today is about identifying those things that are not us, allowing ourselves to set it down and then connecting with who we truly already are, and then allowing ourselves to live like it on a daily basis.
Speaker 1:Now I want to leave you with a little challenge For the next seven days. I want to encourage you to act as the person that you already are, that highest self that you connected with. Allow yourself to act like that each and every day. And here's what's important. You're retraining your body, you're retraining your emotions, you're retraining your thoughts. Okay. So if it feels clunky, if it feels awkward, that's okay. It doesn't mean that those things aren't true about you. It means that you've had momentum in one direction for decades and now we're shifting momentum towards our authentic self. Think about it that way. That's what you're actually doing. You're retraining yourself to live according to who you truly are.
Speaker 1:The second thing I want you to do for the next seven days is to think, speak and move from that new identity. Write down words that you want to say about yourself. Write down thoughts that you want to think about yourself. Write down thoughts that you want to think about yourself. Move your body in a way that connects with that new identity. And research shows that changing our physiology or our positioning can shift the chemicals, our energy. It's very powerful. So, in those moments when you're feeling like you're not worthy or you're feeling shame, simply standing up and doing a superwoman or a superman pose where you stand strong, legs apart, hands on your hip, with your arms spread wide, head held high, with confidence that shift in posture will shift your energy. And many people underestimate the movement of their body, the positioning of their body when it comes to change. It's an important part of change. And then the final thing I want to encourage you to do for the next seven days keep reminding yourself of this truth. You are rewiring your mind for a new reality. So if you need to write that down, if you need to have some reminders, put it on a phone screensaver or whatever it is. Put down the phrase I am rewiring myself for a new reality.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for joining this episode of the Permission to Love podcast. Always so thankful to be able to be on this journey with you, and I want to say that I really am really proud of you for showing up, listening and engaging in the exercises that are a part of this episode. Now, if you've not yet had a chance to follow or to subscribe to this podcast, I want to encourage you to take a moment to do that, because that's going to keep you updated on when new episodes come out. And also, if this episode helped you, send it to one person who you think needs to hear it, because if it helped you, it's going to help them as well. Now, if you need additional resources to help you on your journey, I want to encourage you to go to my website at jerryhendersonorg. I've got a few downloads there, a quiz you can take as well, and you can also learn more about my coaching program. And finally, I want to remind you, as always, that you are worthy of your own love.
